Some say a person who takes a road less traveled is a free spirit. Someone who does not conform to what others believe to be normal. This is not the case for him.

At every opportunity to conform he has failed. Not for the lack of trying, but rather, the lack of understanding on the part of others. The way he dresses. The way he speaks. His interests. All these peculiarities seem to work against him, yet he continues to search for the road to conformity.

He takes the road less traveled not because he wants to be different or go against the societal perception of normal. He takes the road less traveled in search of those who will understand and support him. A tribe of his own, where he can openly discuss that which interests him without being judged. A tribe of his own, that won’t fault him for the way he dresses. A tribe of his own, that will listen intently while he speaks.

He takes the road less traveled in search of a tribe of his own. He takes the road less traveled in search of a place he can call home.

John KochmanskiMarch 30, 2020

The Reset Button Has Been Hit

Let me start with a story. Something that happened to me this past Friday morning.

I was awoken by the sound of rain and wind. It was about 6:30 or 7 A.M.. Not sure, because I have not been tracking time. Or days for that matter. I started my normal routine. Get up, go to the bathroom, remove fuzz from belly button, make coffee, open shades and begin to look for the good happening in the world.

As I was clicking around on YouTube, I stumbled on the video below from Madison Cunningham, an artist I had never heard before. The rain continues to fall as I hit the play button. After a brief intro she begins to sing and I am floored. Her version of "Hands on the Wheel" by Willie Nelson seems to be exactly what I needed to hear at that time. I listened. Then listened again.

When the song ended something caught my eye out the window. While the rain kept falling I walked to the window. Across the street, two children were twirling in place on the landing to their building. In the rain. They would stop briefly, look at each other and then begin again. Hands out, face pointed toward the sky. In the rain. A tear began making its way down my face. I watched until they finished. I felt somewhat at peace, but filled with emotion. Emotion I could no longer contain.

It's strange times out there, friends. As scary as it has turned, I'm of the mind that in some way it was heaven sent. Gifted time to slow down, grow closer ...

During this period of uncertainty and disruption, I can’t help but feel all of our lives have been reset. Think back a year ago or even a month ago. We were running from place to place trying to keep pace with a world moving faster and faster. Our connection to the people who surround us took a back seat to performing our best for our boss or clients. Making sure our kids get to all their extracurricular activities took priority over spending time one on one with them. Screens replaced faces. And now.

Now we are reconnecting albeit in an unfamiliar way. We can’t physically be together, but we are connecting. What we took for granted not too long ago we can no longer have. The reset button has been hit and when we are done rebooting I can only believe we will be better people.

Stay safe. Stay home. Stay human.

John KochmanskiMarch 22, 2020

Be A Good Human

Over the past two+ years, since moving to Montréal, I have been in a weird place of reflection and observation. Mainly because I don't know anyone nor do I feel the need to become friends with others at this time. Don’t get me wrong, having someone to hang out with would be nice, but I have not made it a priority. You could say I’m going through a detox period after years spent in corporate America.

Over the past 2+ years, the thing that has repeatedly stuck out and continues to stick out as I observe the world, is the sense of entitlement exhibited by some people. For some people it's all about them. I have had people nudge me aside and step in front of me at bakeries as if I didn’t exist. I have had people who refuse to move over on the sidewalk so I can pass, forcing me to walk into the street to continue on my way. I have almost been hit by cars while walking because pedestrians are a nuisance to some. I have had to dodge a tidal wave of water being hurled at me as a passing car hits a giant puddle of water I happen to be walking past. I have people honk their car horn at me or flash their head lights because I wasn’t driving fast enough, only to pull up next to them at the following street light. I have had people look at me while holding the door open for them like It was my job to do so without saying a word. And the list goes on.

I have told my wife several times over the past couple years that human self-entitlement will be the downfall of the human race. Now that's a bit dramatic and I believe there is more good than bad in the world. But the actions of a few can have great impact on others. I see it and feel it daily.

Do I get lonely? Yes. Do I miss spending time with family and friends? Yes. Do I miss playing music and creating art with friends? Yes. Do I get tired of talking to the voices in my head. Hmm, I’ll get back to you on that one. The thing is, all the mentioned are temporary and spending time with yourself builds character. It makes you enjoy the time you do get to spend with others. You begin to appreciate the smile you receive when doing something as simple as holding a door open for others.

It’s big world with a lot of people. Be a good human. It’s easier than you may think.

John KochmanskiMarch 15, 2020

When Someone You Love Is Dying

You receive the phone call you pray will never come. The call to inform you that a loved one is being rushed to the hospital. Your mind starts racing as you blindly grab what you think you’ll need as you rush out the door. Last Thursday, we received the call.

My wife and I moved to Montréal in 2017 so she could be closer to her mother, who had recently been diagnosed with dementia. We’ve had a lot of ups and downs the past three years and wouldn’t trade it for the world. But we thought we had more time. We thought we would continue to hear her childlike chuckle when we visited. See her smile when happy, watch her cry when upset.

We won’t.