It’s been awhile since I posted anything here. Why? Because I lost interest. There seemed to be far too many other things that were more important than stringing together a few words to post online. But, I want to talk about loss. I feel there are many who are struggling with this very topic and maybe reading these few words will help them get through another day, week or month.

As many of you know my wife and I moved to Montréal three years ago and in doing so, have experienced a level of loss we never anticipated.

After setting the move date, we sold most of what we owned. Loss #1. We then sold our dream house that we thought we’d live in for the rest of our lives. Loss #2. One of our horses suddenly and unexpectedly died. Loss #3. We had to put down another horse and cat because they would not have survived the trip. Loss #4 and #5. Within months of arriving in Montréal, the horse we brought with us became sick and within weeks, died. Loss #6.

We started to find a groove and decided to sell my mother-in-laws house to ensure we had enough money to pay for her care. Loss #7. During the sale process one of our cats was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. Loss #8.

We moved and started to find a groove again. Out of the blue, my mother-in-law became ill and passed within weeks. Huge loss #9. We started to find a groove again. Then COVID hit. Loss #10. Then another cat passes and within weeks of its passing another one passes. Loss #11 and #12.

I’m not telling you this for your sympathy. I’m trying to give some perspective. Maybe the perspective you need to deal with what is making you hurt. Maybe sharing this will let you see that you’re not alone. Maybe sharing this will let you see that what is making you hurt is not so bad. Maybe sharing this will let you see that you’re level of hurt may be greater than mine, but I assure you, you’ll make it through the ache.

Maybe sharing this, will let you see. See what you have, not what you’ve lost.

---

I was recently going through old photos to stay busy. As I was going through them, I kept thinking about the people in the photos and where they are now. Are they safe? What if they aren’t safe? What if they have been taken from us?

This series of animations is the result.

---

The past few months have been a rollercoaster. The past week my emotions have been all over the place. One minute I’m calm, the next I’m holding back tears and the next I’m pissed. I’m sure you have experienced something similar.

We like certainty. We want to know when something will be done or end. Will it be prolonged? If so, when is the next end date. When faced with uncertainty we get frustrated. The frustration takes on different forms as we move though a situation. Sadness, joy, anger complacency, all seem to be born out of or contribute to our frustration. For example frustration can cause sadness or we are sad because we are frustrated. We are happy, but only for a short time so we become frustrated. We are frustrated because we may not be experiencing the level of happiness we have in the past, and so on.

So what do we do? We try to control the actions of others or try to justify their actions by placing a label on them. They’re stupid or dumb or idiots or selfish. I know I’m guilty of placing the selfish label on many people, because I feel they know exactly what they’re doing. They’re not dumb or an idiot.

We aren’t going to be able to control the actions of others. We can’t continue to let the actions of a others take control over our emotions, which will cause us further frustration. We need to control how we deal with our own emotions. We need to keep our frustration in check. How we feel is not their fault. it’s our fault.

I always struggle with the mantra, “We are all in this together” because it’s not attainable. I like it, because it gives us a sense of belonging to something bigger than ourselves while working toward a common goal. Being in this all together means you have to to take care of yourself first, so you can be mentally and physically in this with everyone else.

The emotions you feel, I feel. We are as the say, in this together.

---

A lifetime is filled with journeys. Some long. Some short. Some planned. Some unplanned. Chaotic journeys. Calming journeys. Journeys we wished we hadn’t taken and those we wished we had.

With each turn we take during our journeys, a decision is made. Do we go right or do we go left. With each step, a decision is made. Do we continue moving forward, stop or take a step back.

The journeys we control help to enrich our lives. A journey can bring great joy or a deep sadness. How we navigate through each type will determine how we will define it in the future.

Right now, you and I, are taking one or more journeys. Each one shaping our current and future lives. Choose sensibly. You are in control.

---